ASK EMILY: Reader says It’s not classy to ask for gifts

By Uriah A. Kiser

Published: July 10, 2008

Dear Emily,
Wedding season is here. What is your opinion on gift registries? I heard a comedian the other day talk about how they are ridiculous. People should not be able to pick out their own gifts and dictate to others which presents should be bought for them, as well as where they should be bought. That’s not classy. Buying a gift is a pleasantry that should not be expected. Although this was in a comedy skit, I think it’s essentially true. Emily, what is the etiquette on this, and what do you think? I for one would be grateful if someone bought me a wedding gift or baby gift independent of my instructing them. The best presents are a surprise. Sure, getting more than one of something is a drag, but that’s what gift receipts are for, and it pays to be original.
— Heading Down the Aisle

Dear Heading Down the Aisle: Imagine getting three unwanted, non-returnable punchbowls as wedding gifts, when you desperately needed flatware. This is why the gift registry is ideal for young couples just starting out. There is nothing wrong with providing guests with a list of gift ideas. In fact, a gift registry is a courtesy for your guests who would prefer getting you something you really need and want. It is however rude to mention your registry on your wedding invitations.

Dear Emily,
My girlfriend loves her cat “Peppy” and I have done all kinds of things to get along with the thing, but the animal just doesn’t bond with me the way it loves her. In fact, I don’t even think the cat likes me. What can I do to build a better bond with Peppy?
— Unloved

Dear Unloved: Cats are very independent animals, so you can’t just offer Peppy a treat like you would a dog and expect undying devotion. You must earn Peppy’s affection, and you can do this by playing with him, brushing him and asking your girlfriend if you could be the one to feed him. Hand feeding the cat treats is a great way to bond. Also be patient; if you’re good to Peppy, he will take to you when he is ready. 

Dear Emily,
I am a 75-year-old grandfather to two teenage boys. Recently the boys have been talking differently and have picked up some slang words, from school or from their friends, I guess. I can’t understand a word they say anymore. I guess it’s this generation. What happened to the good old days when young men and ladies spoke normally? Any guesses, Emily?
— Confused Gentleman

Dear Confused Gentleman: The world is constantly changing, and with it the language. In 2007, the Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary added nearly 100 new words, like ginormous and smackdown, to keep up with the living language. New words and expressions must materialize as technology, science and pop culture continually transform. As for the “good old days,” just remember that you probably used some words and phrases that your grandparents didn’t understand either. How do you think they felt when they heard about “babes” or tomahawk haircuts?