ASK EMILY: Soon-to-be freshman fears loneliness

ASK EMILY
Published: July 17, 2008

Dear Emily: I am getting ready to be a freshman in college this fall and I’m completely nervous. I’ve never been good about making friends and I’m scared that I’ll be totally lost and on my own. How will I meet people? What if everyone already knows someone else there, and I’m left out?
— Panicking Pupil

Dear Panicking Pupil: When you first arrive on campus, you’ll meet dozens of students just like you - friendless and alone. You’ll instantly bond with your roommate and other people in your dormitory who want to make friends just as badly as you do. With these people, you’ll go the bookstore, the dining hall and parties, and meet even more friends. This is all before classes even start. So don’t be nervous. Be assertive, go to all the orientation events, and just be
yourself.

Dear Emily: I have a 13-year-old daughter who loves to listen to her favorite rock stations on XM radio. The other day I was in the car with her when I actually started to listen to some of the lyrics of those pop songs. I can’t believe how horrible and degrading some of them are. I don’t want my daughter to listen to such garbage, but I feel like restricting pop music is extreme. I’m torn. What would Emily do?
— Nervous Momma

Dear Nervous Momma: Young adults are impressionable, so if you want your daughter to grow up with certain principles, limit how much garbage she takes in. You won’t be the favorite mom for going the route of censorship, but you certainly would be making a good parenting decision. You don’t have to go all or nothing on this — not all bands are bad news. Do your homework and let your daughter tune in to music programs you feel are appropriate. 

Dear Emily: My good friend “Betsy,” is a lot of fun to hang around with, when she is willing. She is 23 years old, but sometimes she acts like she’s 43. She always wants to stay in at night, watch her TV shows and go to bed early. Last week I told her about a party that started at 11 pm on a Friday night and she said she wouldn’t be able to stay up that late. I need suggestions on how to wake Betsy up from her boring life to have a little fun.
— Stuck With a Drag

Dear Stuck With a Drag: The word fun is subjective. While I find it entertaining to sit and read a novel for a few hours, my husband would prefer to be on the golf course. The point is, if Betsy is happy with her life, then the problem isn’t really with her. It’s with you. Make some new friends who share your other interests. This way when you are in the mood for some crazy fun, you have someone to call. When you’re looking to watch a movie and get home early, call Betsy.