COUNTRY CONNECTION: American Idol worship: Why I don’t take part

By PAUL KENT
For the Stafford County Sun
Published: April 23, 2008

When people don’t participate in cultural norms, we tend to get this you-must-be-from-Mars look in our eyes. Our natural reflex toward anything we don’t understand is to question and distrust, since if they don’t understand why a reference is funny, important, or significant in any way, they are obviously spies and must be eliminated. The pastier of us American nerds have this reaction to people whove never seen “Star Wars.” The bar crowd makes that face at the guy who plugged Barry Manilow into the jukebox. Everyone in the area double-takes at the Cowboys logo on my uncle’s T-shirt. They’re not human anymore, these folks. They’re aliens.

When I tell people I’ve never watched a single episode of “American Idol,” I become an alien. How I haven’t been put into a lab and dissected remains a mystery to both the horrified onlookers and myself.

How many seasons are we up to? Seven? Eight? Seventy-eight thousand? I have no idea. Never watched a bit of it, save for one night with the sound off at a bar. Apparently, I’m missing out on this cultural juggernaut that has all of America entranced.

At least, that’s what people keep telling me. I don’t think I’m missing a thing.

I say this because it’s not like the singers - winners, losers, horrific failures and instant gods — are going to escape my attention. Thunder 104.5 is chock full of Idol contestants — Carrie Underwood is all over creation; Kellie Pickler is charming her way across the universe; Kelly Clarkson duets with Reba; and for crying out loud, Bucky Covington exists. Bucky Covington! The guy has the charm of a bean bag and the chops of the kindergartner about to belly-flop into it from the stairs, and yet he has multiple hits!

I don’t have to watch “American Idol.” It will simply show up at my doorstep and expect me to know what it is. And I will, eventually. There’s no attachment for me that there is for others, though — those who watch get a personal stake in the singer. We watched them from the beginning. We voted for them. We decided they were nice to have around, so we kept them. Someone else feeds them songs, they sing their hearts out, we cheer.

I figure the ones who care are the ones who are going to vote the loudest and most frequently, so they can go on without me. As long as they’re singing a decent song, there’s no fight on my part. When it comes down to it, I feel about “American Idol” the way some folks feel about American presidents - if you want to pay attention and make the informed decision, you vote, and my world won’t change all that much.

Unlike presidents, however, you can’t vote these folks back out again. So I hope you all know what you’re doing.

Paul Kent hosts Thunder After Dark, 7 p.m. - midnight weekdays and the Saturday Night Special, Saturdays 7 p.m. -
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