Pair disagrees on child’s exposure to videogames

ASK EMILY
Published: June 26, 2008

Dear Emily: My husband often plays videogames while watching our 2-year-old son. I’ve asked him not to do that because the games seem very violent, but my husband insists that our son doesn’t understand what he is watching, and so it doesn’t matter. How do I convince my husband he is wrong?
— Viewing Violence

Dear Viewing Violence: Simple. Remind your husband about the incident in 1993 when a 5-year-old boy set fire to his family’s home after watching Beavis and Butthead. And tell him that many psychologists agree that TV violence can lead to heightened aggression. There are also studies that suggest that children under 3 years old are most affected by what they watch on TV because their brains are at such an important developmental stage.
Dear Emily: I noticed a friend of mine had some cutson her arms the other week, and she said she got scratched by a cat. But then later I saw she had cuts on her legs as well. Either that was some ferocious cat, or there is something else going on here. What are some signs that she could be cutting herself on purpose? I’ve heard of people doing this as a way to cope with stress.
— Concerned

Dear Concerned: Some people injure themselves by cutting or scratching their body intentionally, as a way to cope with emotional pain. They may be dealing with feelings that seem too difficult to bear, so they cut to get some sort of relief. Pay attention to your friend’s moods. Is she dealing with a lot of stress? Look for scars from cuts and bruises. Also, does she have these accidents frequently? Does she wear long sleeves to cover up marks? If so, you need to talk to her about getting some help immediately.