Hair truth sometimes hurts

By CLOE CABRERA
Media General News Service
Published: July 30, 2008

It’s all your fault Salma Hayek.
I was so over my longer-than-shoulder-length hair. I was ready for a change - something a bit more, ahem, mature. After all, conventional wisdom says once a woman hits the big 4-0, she shouldn’t wear her hair long, right?

Long hair is a younger woman’s domain. A well-mannered middle-length style is supposed to make you appear more youthful.

But it looks as if Salma didn’t get that memo, because there she was, gracing the cover of Glamour magazine, her long, flowing tresses cascading down her shoulders. Hayek is 41.

I’m 41. As I sat there waiting for my turn in the stylist’s chair, I glanced around the salon and noticed several women in their 40s, even 50s, sporting long hair, at least past their shoulders.

And only one of them wore a style that dragged her face down like ears on a basset hound. The rest of them worked those long locks.

Now, this is a Dominican-owned hair salon — Ada Secrets in West Tampa — where the clients are mostly Latina and black. The majority of the ladies have long hair; or at least they do when they walk out the door.

It didn’t take long for me to start second-guessing my short hair plans. If Hayek can carry it off, surely I could hold onto my long locks a little longer.

Ada Terrero, who owns the salon, says when it comes to long hair on older women, it’s really the condition of the hair that matters.

The unattractive truth is that as we age, our hair has a tendency to get thin and wispy. Add to it years of processing, coloring and heat styling, and it’s goodbye, luscious volume. Think of all those elderly hippies with their brindled hair flying in the wind - not a good look.

“You really have to make sure you have the right cut for your hair quality, your face and lifestyle,“ says Terrero, who is 47 and sports a short, flirty look. “For a lot of older women, that happens to be shoulder length or higher.“

But the temptation to hang on to a youthful hairstyle can be overwhelming. I have a friend (I’m sure you do, too) who has had the same hair length - and style - since I’ve known her. She’s pushing 50.

She’s allowed her hair to grow almost to the middle of her back. She gets it trimmed regularly, but only the ends.

None of her friends dare to say anything (Maybe she will see herself in this column. I’m hoping she won’t stop speaking to me.) What’s her reason for keeping the length? Her husband likes it long.

If stereotypes are to be believed, all men love long hair. And do we care what they think? You know we do.

There are myriad reasons why women keep their tresses long well beyond the expiration date, says Christopher Hopkins, author of “Staging Your Comeback:
A Complete Beauty Revival for Women Over 45” (HCI $22.95).

The No. 1 reason is the need to be desired. Long hair can make a woman feel sexually attractive; some feel more secure with more hair, he says.

Sound like you?

Hopkins offers these signs that your hair is too long. (If any of them apply to you, get out the shears.)
1. You’re always pulling it back and rarely wear it down
2. It only looks good for the first 20 minutes after you style it.
3. You see yourself in the mirror later in the day and quickly pull it back.
4. You keep fluffing it whenever you look in the mirror.
5. You know better, but you’re doing it for your husband or significant other.

Ouch! The truth hurts. At least three of those signs point to me. (Sorry, mi amor).

When it was finally my turn to slide into the stylist’s chair, I showed her a picture of what I wanted. She pulled out the scissors and before she could make the first snip, I blurted: “Don’t make it too short. I still want to be able to pull it back in a bun.“

Talk about being in denial. Muchas gracias, Salma.

Do you think long hair on 40-ish women looks sexy or silly? Go to TBO.com keyword: Hot Pursuits and tell me what you think.